I am spending my child support on dildos
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize