I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
