i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
