I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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