I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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