I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
