i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
