Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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