Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
