i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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