just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
