Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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