I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
This is classic penis vs brain.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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