then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize