I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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