Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
