The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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