you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
