i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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