That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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