yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
