I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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