I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
