Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize