Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
