I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
