i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My liver just broke up with me...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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