uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
