I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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