did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
