Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
