i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
