It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize