dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
