i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize