I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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