Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I need moral support for this bender
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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