Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize