why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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