And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
