toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
