New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize