I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize