There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize