This dress was meant to end up on your floor
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
