We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
