Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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