he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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