omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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