Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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