No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you inspire me to be a worse person
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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