There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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