six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
