One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
