Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
