So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
