I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
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I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
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I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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