just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
