I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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