i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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