I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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