So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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