I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
