i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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