your parents love me but you hate me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
