cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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