Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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