I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
