She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
