The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
